Ode to the best dog.

Play by play of the nights events:

my mom texts me telling me that they are taking my dog to the vet because she had two accidents today,

shes shaking and shes not doing well at all. Later my mom texts me telling me shes needs an xray. Even later, i find out that she has a tumor in her bladder. Even later I am told that they have to put her down. This is quite possibly the most devastating news i have heard in an extremely long time. For those of you non animal lovers or people who consider animals pets and not family you wont find this a big deal. One of my good friends was over as I found out the news so I didnt want to shift from her problems to mine so i held it in, not really registering what i was hearing. After she left I was devastated. I go home in two days. Two days. How could this happen before i go home? I didnt get to say goodbye...I've always considered her my dog, even though she was the family dog. For those of you who dont know me super well, maybe this will put into perspective what I am feeling. Since the age of 5 or so I asked for a dog every single year for christmas. Without fail there would be the word dog in huge, slightly sloppy lettering. Every single year without fail i got a stuffed animal dog. I dont know if my parents really thought this would cease the pestering or if they thought this was in any way funny, but i was not amused. One day, the summer before 4th grade we were wandering the mall. We decided to stop in the pet store and just "browse." This usually ended in complaining and being dragged out of the store. This time in specific we saw the cutest dog in the entire world. A baby jack russel terrier mix. She was all white with a black patch over one eye and little dots all over her ears. Somehow we convinced our parents to let us play with her in one of the rooms. We fell in love instantly. Our parents said no though and we left dogless.

I remember the exact thing i was doing when we got her. I was sitting in the basement playing on the computer when i heard my sister gasp and get all excited. I knew. I cant tell you how but i knew. It was a couple days later and I ran upstairs to see my parents grinning from ear to ear. This was the best surprise of my entire life. I had wanted a dog more than anything in the entire world. You honestly have NO idea. We named her Dottie because of the dots on her ears. (Now I still say adopt from a shelter!! But when you fall in love, you fall in love). Long story short, it turned out she was deaf and they were going to give us all our money back and put her down. We refused because we had already fallen in love with her. She has been in the family ever since. I drew pictures of her on anything. Ask anyone in my fourth grade clas...haha. She was a celebrity. She attended every family vacation, hogged all the covers on the bed, ate the gross green beans i dropped under the table, licked my tears away when i was sad, let me dress her up, pulled me around on the scooter, played soccer with me, tanned with me and even helped with homework.

There wasnt a moment when she wasnt curled up in mine or Nays lap when we watched movies at night. I'm really going to miss her, she was the best dog. Its so sad to think she wont be at the window when i come home for break, wagging her tail, barking and running to the door to wait for me to open it. Sometimes i wouldnt open it and i would just wait and she would run back to the window to make sure I was still coming. I'm feeling guilty for not being there when she was put down or around to say goodbye. As lame as it sounds I keep thinking what the last thing i said to her was. I'm at least glad my family all got to say goodbye together but i wish there was someone else in this apartment for me to be with. I guess the only good thing about this whole situation is all dogs go to heaven right?

I guess you now know why  i say its a dealbreaker if he doesnt like dogs. I'll upload some of my favorite pictures of her when i get them. Goodness knows we have thousands.
xoxo a very sad Cait xoxo