Turn me on...or off, whichever you prefer

Dear boys, take notes.

If you wanna turn me off:

bad breath. enough said

crack your knuckles, head, back, anything. it makes me sick

 Do i look impressed that you have a tattoo on your arm? Look at my face, umm no. I hope i dont offend anyone but i do not like tattoos at all. Im sorry but you have a sleeve tattoo and now I am no longer focused on that beautiful bicep below it but instead the overbearing artwork of some Chinese symbol that prob means meat head...I know you didn’t get it for me, nor do you prob care what I think but really it would be nice if you would at least consider my opinion next time you deface your arm...thank you.

Wheres your hair? Now this isnt a deal breaker but it definitely isnt a turn on. I like guys with hair. I mean my dad is 50 something and he still has great hair. Is it too much to ask for my future husband to have hair too?

I'm sorry is that a hole in your ear? why.

Insult me. okay except that one time in middle school when Buddy asked me if i was wearing a tablecloth and i adored him ever since for more reasons than just that though. It was a lack of good fashion judgement on my part (something that never really happens, except in middle school) and i never wore that ugly thing again... When boys tell other boys this works i laugh. Putting me down and saying mean things will not get me to fall head over heels in love with you, although over complimenting me prob wont either because thats just creepy. But it is nice if you would notice that i curled my hair for the first time in like 6 months...Now teasing is a different story, thats cute

Dont shower, smell bad and dont care about your physical appearance at all. Easy enough right.

have 0 motivation to get a job, do anything in life, etc.

be a blonde. okay just kidding but i always tell everyone im not attracted to blondes when the last two guys i thought were kinda cute were blonde...although really tall, dark and handsome wins every time

wear girl jeans. there are many boys in utah who like bedazzled jeans and i feel as though this isnt okay

have a bad laugh. my room mate suggested this one and i wholeheartedly agree.

 If you wanna turn me on:

MUST. LOVE. DOGS.

you drive a motorcycle?! Bad A & pref look like this while riding it

Intelligent guys are a real turn on, i just cant date stupid boys.

Guys who are passionate about things. Guys who are easygoing.

wink. i love it when a guy can wink. Let me clarify, wink at me, not one of my many cute room mates

Confidence borderline cockiness. i like it when guys intimidate me a little and they know what they want. Theres just this attitude about them that i love. Guys who are down on themselves, unhappy, negative are not going to go anywhere. No one wants to spend every second reassuring them.

You smell so good. wow. When a boy smells good its embarrassing how much i love it. Like i would be one of those embarrassing girls on the axe commercials who like goes crazy, i always point it out too

I love hats. Like love. My favorite song lyrics are "and i think i like him better with the fitted cap on, he aint even gotta try to put the mac on." The first guy i notice is a guy in a hat. This however could be a turnoff because he could be covering up his receeding hairline and that would be terrible. (see above for turnoffs). But in the event that he is covering up a beautiful head of dark hair then great! because I enjoy boys in hats, mainly fitteds or baseball hats. Boys at the gym love to wear hats when they work out and i love that they love to wear hats. Win win situation for everyone involved right?

A great smile. So obsessed with smiles. If when he smiles i smile its a good thing. I so approve. along with beautiful arms. Two favorite things on a guy right here.

Playing hard to get usually works. But only at the beginning. I'm a pretty competetive person and i like a challenge just as much as the next person. However if the guy changes his name and moves then hes prob not just playing hard to get rather he thinks youre a stalker...just a thought

hahahaha this is the funniest thing ever. i love it & i love vnecks.

Semi know how to dress. Im not talking dressing better than me or anything but have some care please like good shoes. Its weird but ive always like high socks and like nikes or jordans, like shoes like that. the whole lax bro look. i kinda dig it.

wearing church clothes, like ties and button ups. yesss.

make me laugh. Not that hard to do.

oh and please like sports.

Added bonuses:

Speak a different language (SPANISH) but knowing asl would be cool,  like to cook, love to dance (you dont even have to dance well, just go for it and dont be embarrassed) be romantic, serenade me through singing or guitar actually just play an instrument in general wow, pay attention to me, lovee blue eyes and dark hair, etc

However, if you look like any of the following, nothing else matters:

And my definition of absolute perfection, the boy i compare all other boys to:

xoxo CAIT xoxo

hi, stop touching me on my amazing weekend.

This weekend was amazing but full of unwanted touching, pushing and throwing.
Not to mention crowds and crowds of people and lovely mosh pits.
Good thing i'm not claustraphobic or anything because this weekend really wasnt ideal for those people.

On Friday Annalisa, Trevor, Trevin, Isaiah, Enowah and I went up to Salt Lake for a party.
It was the biggest silly string party, so big in fact that its going in the Guiness Book of World Records.
Awesome huh.

They gave away money, free food and had an awesome DJ all night long.
Great music, great friends and great fun.

However,

I was practically in a mosh pit for the first few hours. It was all safe fun until the DJ would yell throw your hands in the air and jump. I actually yelled no, although im sure my pityful little screams were barely heard.
I put my arms around me trying to create a safe zone but being 5'4 and having everyone around me at least a head taller, this did little to no good. Actually my arms hurt really bad  now.

A couple times boys just ran into me and i would straight up push them and when they turned around i shrugged my shoulders as if i had no idea who pushed them. whoops.

Then came the dangerous part when $$$ was shot out of these cannons and everyone would scramble to get them. At the end of the night i got $15 or so bucks. sweetness. However i hit an all time low when i was knocked over and instead of worrying that i was gonna end up on the news as the girl who got trampled at some party, the only thought running through my head was you need to get that dollar bill before someone else. However the boys were very nice for this split second and helped me up, thank you. Actually boys at this party were prob nice than most other parties because they would apologize for bumping into you when they were actually paying attention to their surroundings, which was not often.

On the way home we swung by Annalisas to pick up her two sisters Cassidy and Mckenna.

In the morning we got up and made a huge french toast breakfast for all the boys before the Festival of Colors and it was so yummy :)

At around 10 we headed to Spanish Fork to go to the Festival of Colors, an Indian Festival that celebrates God and happens once a year. On the way we stopped and bought white shirts. Once we got there it was crazy, almost everyone was in light/white colors and as we were walking up people would just throw chalk on you. Umm we havent even taken a before picture yet, can you please stop? And if you do insist on throwing colors in my face could you at least pick a good color like yellow or pink that compliments my hair? Please be a little bit more considerate next time. But people dont really listen. We bought some chalk and took tons of pictures. I even ran into my cousin jeff and several people from the ward.

The weather was a little cold but way nice and there was pretty sweet music playing. It was pretty amusing because the hill was muddy and people were sliding everywhere. We went right down to the center of it all and when they counted down and threw chalk you could barely breathe but it was such a cool thing to see! I'm so glad i got to experience it because for $3 i had a whole day of fun. I recommend everyone go once.

The new *boys in town who just came on the scene

Theres the athletes- Hey remember that date we went on when you had your phone out the whole time because you were checking the score of the Lakers game like every 2 minutes..Yeah cool me too. Remember when I was unimpressed and stopped liking you? You probably dont remember that part actually...whoops. "So what do you like to do?" "I really just like sports..." Ok this boy cant only like sports..lets try something else. "Do you like the beach?" "i like playing football on the beach..."Boy was i wrong, the boy only talks, thinks and cares about sports. Well i could see a promising future for us...if i looked like a football. Such a shame. The beginning of the date went great when we were both so stubborn and opened the car door for eachother and you were funny when i grabbed the door for you and my room mates date tried to walk through and you pushed him and told him to go through his dates door. Remember the part of the date when they had you get on your knee and you were like woah its only the first date haha and then i had to sit on your knee and you just got off your mission but you were so cute about it and put your arm around me, kinda awkwardly but it was adorable. Maybe if we could talk about other things besides sports or maybe if i dressed in only basketball jerseys we'd be together...sorry but im not willing to make such sacrifices in fashion


The Scholar- You like country music? Hey me too! Youre attractive? Hey me too! oh i mean...How come everyone keeps saying you like me but you havent asked me on a date? Oh because you are at school 24 hours a day. I mean its cool youre super focused on school but really...I love that youre in my FHE group and we get along so well and you give me a lot of attention and you get jealous when i was looking at that bowler in the other lane but it was only because he was really good at getting strikes okay. Nothing else. Its cute that you always ask people where i am if im not at FHE or church or things of that nature. Not that im innactive okay, i was sick...I worry that you, like the athlete, only have one real thing you care...although its a pretty good thing to be concerned about. Maybe if we go on a date i could see where things will go...


The southern belle-NO we are not having a DTR. I guess this is kinda my fault. I shouldnt have jokingly said i like you in front of my room mate but you shouldnt have gotten all serious and asked if i was joking. I guess my jokes arent funny.. This is slightly uncomfortable now. You told me we could make it work if i wanted but i didnt know what i wanted. We've always had this teasing friendship but i think we both had crushes on eachother. I promise ill stop asking you to hold my hand ;) But really you and i fight like an old married couple. I love fighting with you dont get me wrong, prob because were both so stubborn and my room mates all thought we were gonna date but i guess not. I love that when you dont hear what i said and you say what and i go huh what? it drives you crazyyy. You absolutely hate it. You also have a great smile, seriously one of the cutest smile ever. You shake your head at everything i say and i know you find me amusing or ridiculous, whichever you prefer...I feel like we were inseperable for a while because you were always at my apartment. Also that one time you complimented my eyes was adorable too although i dont know if you remember. This is very sportatic but i just have a thread of thoughts on you. You also smell good. Ok moving on.


The baby- I loved hanging out with you when i came home for break. We've been friends for years. Going on 4 years now i think. That night you tried every trick in the book so i would hook up with you but im obviously smarter than you because nothing worked. At the end of the night you sat back and shook your head and said wow, i knew you were a tease but i didnt know you were this big of a tease and you put your fist out for me to pound it. really. do i look like a boy? Was this you saying you give up? i have no clue what that even means. All i do know is that i come home in less than two months and ill be hearing from you soon. If i wasnt 2 years older than you who knows how things would have turned out? oh yeah me. Nothing would have happened.


Gym Hotties- theres like 5 of you. The brody jenner look a like who makes my hours at the gym fly by and the tall guy who is way tan and looks good in anything, oh and did i mention he wears hats...every single time he works out? The problem with you guys is i think youre too into yourself to even notice someone of the opposite sex but maybe its the total opposite because you are so busy making sure people are looking at you and your oversized muscles that you arent super absorbed. I still have hope for mr tan because hes always looking at me but its prob bc he thinks im looking at him. You know that whole awkward thing when youre looking at someone and you think theyre looking at you but they think youre looking at them so theyre looking at you? yeah it could be that. These gym hotties are usually surrounded by flocks of really pretty girls at the gym and youre curious how he knows all these people? Has he paid them off? Does he work there? because theres no way he can really be that popular...can he?

The hot comedian- So lately i've been on a baking kick and today i wanted to make rice krispy treats and i asked you to help and you said sure and i honestly dont think anyone has ever looked so good making rice krispy treats. I honestly wish I had pictures of this. You got all serious and rolled up your sleeves and tucked your tie in your shirt(because you were still in your church clothes, and boy did you look good). You knew exactly what to do and were so nice and i was trying to pour soap and i was struggling and you were laughing and i love it when you laugh at me, not even with me at me, oh well. And they came out great and you gave me all the credit and then i tried making a batch all on my own and i accidentally mixed the marshmellows with the rice krispies and you laughed some more and then helped me pick them all out and then my room mate made a joke about how its like at the movies when you reach in and grab a piece of popcorn and your fingers touch and i said um that never happens and then i reached in and you being you went for the same piece and then said ohhh and backed into the wall and made your eyes all big haha. It was so funny, you were acting like it made you fall in love with me. I honestly love the way you make me laugh but unlike some guys its never because youre mean or making fun of someone, its just good humor. I dont see anything happening, nor do i want anything to happen? Youre just so darn goodlooking and hilarious.

here ya go :)

If the gym is my boyfriend where are my benefits...

It seems to me that boyfriends are time consuming. People spend ALL their time with that significant other. Eventually youll see one alone and youll have to do a double take and ask where the other one is, almost like conjoined twins that you dont expect to see seperate, its weird. Lately ALL my time has been consumed by the gym, therefore he is my boyfriend. This past week whenever i could fit it in, I would do two a days. One day I got a text from my room mate Annalisa asking if the gym and i were dating. ;) and i said it sure seems like it...although i am getting very little benefits from this whole arrangement. Wheres my hand holding? Wheres my cuddling? Wheres the fun? Now i love going to the gym, but i definitely wouldnt say its fun. Some things need to change here mister. Why do i go all the time then you ask? I'm addicted...i guess its good that i'm addicted to the gym instead of drugs though, lets look at the positives here ok.

Boring but necessary

In the past few weeks we threw a crepe party which was fun! and lotsa people came

my roomies and i had a red robin date. did i mention i LOVE red robin? :)

my FHE group went bowling! Actually my apartment planned it and it was way fun.

We had a soccer game on thursday and i scored the winning goal! I was playing defense and someone passed the ball back and i kicked it and it sailed right over the goalies fingertips and right under the bar. It was pretty beautiful. In some terrible news however though we had our first playoff game this morning and we ended up having to forfeit because we needed 5 players and only had 4. Did i mention it was single elimination and now our seasons over when we could have won the whole thing? yeah cool. I also got to get up at 8 just to find out we had to forfeit. In all fairness though half of our team is in Colorado because they are on the BYU Rugby team and couldnt make it to the game. Better luck next season right?

I dont know why the date on this picture says 2007...its definitely 2011 but okay. Isnt our team pretty attractive? I kinda have a crush on someone, take a guess!

I also got off work on Thursday so i could go see my friend Anthonys play Hairspray. I love plays and musicals and things of that nature so it was amazing and we had the best seats in the whole place. It was legit. The place was packed and the show was sooo good. I love Hairspray. The music was amazing, the dancing and the cast all made the show great. I recommend everyone go see it before it ends!

Next week we have the Festival of colors and a really fun ward activity, so expect to be filled in!



Random thoughts...

i think spandex should be the new girls best friend. Thank you to the creator of spandex for making an invention where girls look hotter. I live in spandex...sorry for those who hate them and think they shouldnt be worn as pants but i disagree. I wear them all the time. Also girls, boys seem to like them...just saying.


when youre sick you waste so much toothpaste...mainly throwing up. Gross i know but when i was sick last sunday i seriously went through far too much toothpaste and im annoyed...


how come when you walk by the body shop everything smells SO good, like amazingly good but when you walk in everything by its self doesnt smell that great? false advertising say yeahh


i bet boys hate forever 21.
"just a sec hon..."
shes so lying. theres no way you could spend just a second in that store, its huge. I saw a lady dragging her hubby around and he looked absolutely miserable. I wish boys liked shopping because then you could have a  guy to walk around with you and tell you what looks good or not.


who knew tin foil didnt go in the microwave? definitely not me since i almost burnt down the apartment...


I feel like boys dont date down but girls always date down. Girls can overlook the appearance if a guy has an amazing personality but a guy really cant which is why you see hot girls with not so hot guys and hot guys with...well hot girls. hmmm

i would like to publically thank the gym for making me hotter because i have been asked on lotsa dates, had a carful of creeper guys follow me and today someone yelled out their car window hey hot girl! oh wait maybe its the spandex again...nevermind.
just had some things on my mind & wanted to share them :)

I'm a beast

Last night we spontaneously hiked the Y and it was so amazing.

11PM: Annalisa and Enowah ask if I wanna hike the Y. I say no.
11:05PM: Millie asks if i wanna hike the Y. I say no.
11:07PM: I stand up and say fine, ill hike the Y

Trevin Enowah Millie Annalisa and I hike the Y.

We pile into Trevins big truck and head up the mountain, the whole while i go on about how its dangerous that we dont have flashlights and did they know mountain lions live up there? I was sure we were gonna get eaten.

The hike wasnt rough at all. Trevin and I would race eachother up until the next landing and then wait for the others to join. The weather was perfect and the view of all of provo was beautiful. Trevin took a huge bag that weighed 45 lbs or so and carried it the whole way. (hes training for some job he wants)

I tell Trevin we should switch bags. We do.
I tell Trevin its a piece of cake. I lie.
Trevin says I'm a beast but really I'm just stubborn and competitive.




 

Vera Bradley suits you well Trevin.

Then Enowah would love to go running off the trail and through the bushes so it sounded like a mountain lion and i would freak out and then trevin would have to tell him to stop because i would say GUYS! stop listen whats that? then you would hear enowahs lovely laugh.

                              After coming out of the bushes after he scared me he got stuck and i was secretly pleased :)

After some hardcore bonding, lotsa picture taking and some throwing up of my macaroni on trevins part we get to the top. Trevin and I took off running and got to the top with just us. For 10 to 15 minutes it was just him and I. I was surprised at how bumpy and steep the Y actually was. Trevin climbed on with no problem and i freaked out and took forever to get on. As i freaked out and told Trevin i was prob gonna fall and die he told me where to put my hands and feet and patiently waited as i closed my eyes and told me it was gonna be okay and even gave up his spot because it was more comfortable and safer. Then we sat and talked and took in the view and i loved it!

Enowah asked if we were making out as they joined us. But we werent

Although I did ask him partially because it was romantic and he was so nice to me with the mountain lions and falling thing. Only jokingly of course since he threw up and all....

proof that we made it!

the amazing view



I dont think ill ever look at the Y the same again. I cant wait to hike it again and im glad i got to do it now with such awesome friends!

this post struggles a bit but oh well

adorable

I saw the cutest old couple working out.

The same old couple comes into my work later that day holding hands.

I ask them if they go to Golds Gym and they smile and say yes.

I told them I saw them working out earlier.

He then tells me they are both 91 and they work out monday wednesday and friday and its actually their 70 wedding anniversary today. I love old people and asking them questions so i ask them how they made it so long and they tell me hard work. oh i was hoping for an actually secret but thanks. One of my favorite things to do at work is talk to the old people. I always ask how long theyve been married because i find it so cute.

I hope when I'm 91 my husband and i still hold hands and work out and are in amazing shape.

i love old people, even more so, old people in love :)

hey remember when i liked you even though you hit me in the face with a soccer ball? cool huh

I dont think boys should ask girls to a movie on a first date...

if a boy asked me i would definitely say no

"hey caitlin you wanna see a movie tomorrow night?"

Everyone falls out of their seats laughing.

Probably because they all know i want to say yes but im so stubborn i wont

Real Funny.

Everyone says he looks at me different than any other girl but true story- the movie hes just not that into you? SO accurate. Friends will tell you anything to make you feel better although i mean he did look at me kinda special ;) but still.

Later on: "Yeah I'm way athletic"

He then throws a soccer ball to me...

i'm sorry to me? I meant at me.

...soccer ball hits me in the face...

ow.

my face hurts.

kinda badly actually.

His face turns bright red and he feels terrible!

he apologizes profusely and when he thinks the humiliation has worn off he proceeds to tell me that my super athletics hands should have caught the ball.

I then get tired of boy and act weird around him because my room mate tells him to ask me on a date.

NOOO

Awkwardness and I am forced to avoid the boy.

He does do a very funny impression of me me avoiding him, you should ask him to see it sometime

it definitely makes me laugh :)

Youre 45? Ummm no thanks.

So in 2011 I joined a gym :) Go me! Well actually i joined like 2 months ago but i have like no time to blog so ill catch you up. I decided to be all grown up and get a membership all by myself. Let me just say signing up for a gym is very stressful. Initially i went for a free weeks membership and i was bullied into getting a membership, luckily it turned into one of the best decisions. After the unusually pretty tall (no doubt a ploy to make normal girls insecure and feel the need to join a gym) girl talked me into getting a membership this very short and overly built guy walks up and asks if i wanted a free training session. Umm yes please. Four days later i walk into the gym and he gives me the training session and it goes well. A week goes by and I'm sitting on the bicycle when the trainer walks up to me. Ahem, heres how it goes.

"So you have a boyfriend?"
" hahaha um no, i mean theres lotsa boys but no.."
"well i wanna take you out"
PANIC MODE.
OH MY GOSH
THOUGHTS? fall off the bike. faint. call my mom. get my brother to beat him up. tell him im a pathological liar and i actually have a boyfriend...i just forgot...scream and run away. call 911...ok wait thats extreme.

But i can seriously tell you my heart stopped beating for a split second there because a lie could not get out of my mouth fast enough. So i stalled. Im pretty sure i gave the deer in headlights look too.

"well actually i'm 19..."
"i know"
"yeah...um youre 45"
"i know, but youre exactly what i want looks wise and personality wise. Youre one of the sweetest girls"
(creepy, but at least hes up front? unlike boys my age)
I pause. i have nothing to say
"when i see something i want i just go for it"
(I am not a pair of shoes you can just have buddy...)
Creeper then proceeds to pull out his phone as if my panic striken face means please keep going, i;m not extrememly uncomfortable...
"Look let me just get your number i wanna take care of you and ill send you sweet texts"
woahhh RED FLAG. pretty sure you just described a sugar daddy. You wanna "take care of me"
First off: offensive.
Second off: maybe if you came up to my elbows...okay just kidding you arent thatttt short.
I let him down easy and say umm " let me think about it"
I think he gets the message because he says see how sweet you are, even letting me down easy"

After he walks away i wish i could quit the gym. Now i have to see this crazy man every single day. I then call my parents and proceed to tell them this story, sparing no details.

Update: He no longer works at the gym and it is a safe place again. Thank goodness!