embarrassing, with a capital E

Sometimes i like to throw in stories in between fun things, enjoy:

So the other night we were thinking about where to go for dinner and it was between two places, ____ OR _____. My dad was obviously leaning towards one over the other so we went with that even though i was kinda freaking out about it. We walked in and my friend works there who well, lets be honest, i'm kinda in love with...so for obvious reasons i didnt want him to see me, so im hiding behind things, ducking and keeping a low profile...lookin like a jason bourne type. My parents keep looking at me asking if i would like to go somewhere else and i say no i'm okay. I mean why wouldnt i be right? We finally get to the front after waiting in a long line and i announce that i would like to leave. No longer do i have sympathetic parents who are prepared to go somewhere else, but rather a mother who says "we just waited in that whole line- we are staying now." Fine. I go up to the front and order like the pro that i am because i know the restaraunt like the back of my hand. A girl comes up and asks us how many and we say 3. She leads us to a table dead center. If I was thinking of slipping under the radar this time around I was sadly mistaken, he would walk right out and see me. Panic sets in. Luckily dad insists on a table in front of the flat screen so he can keep an eye on the game and we move ourselves, but not before i ok it with a server since i know how annoying this is...

Its dark back here and everyone looks better in the dark and i think it'll be easier to get away unseen-just eat in peace. To my surprise, i look up and who do i see headed right towards my table? Yeah you guessed it. He was standing at the table RIGHT next to us. I flung myself over the side of the table and pretended to be digging through my purse...looking for...something, anything. My parents just stared at me, confused and probably embarrassaed. "Is he gone?..Was that obvious? Did it look like i really was looking for something?" My dad laughed and said no, i looked like someone from a sitcom, it was very comical...well great. Just as easily as i flung myself under the table, i flung myself up and he looked right back at us. I'll just pretend that he didnt. About two minutes later, he comes back and stands in the middle of both tables again but then oddly he turns around and walks away. Well i'm sure as heck not saying anything. But I dont think he will either. We always use to want the other one to say hi first. For the final time he comes stolling around my table i look up and we both make eye contact. Darn i dont think theres anyway to get outta this. Oh i'm actually legally blind now thats why i didnt say hi when we obviously saw eachother, my bad or oh i didnt recognize you, everyone looks like you nowadays, oh you worked here? who knew...anyway he strolls or struts...i like to say strut, he just has this air about him and he comes up to our table. "Hey caitlin i thought that was you." Yeah whatever you knew it was me all along. I manage to get out a feeble hello. My mom and dad start chatting it up with him obviously overcome by his freakin charm...it consumes even the strongest. I started to pray that neither party would say something embarrassing on my behalf...it was very possible. I looked down at the dinner I had started to push frantically around my plate ever since he had shown up, ever so often glancing up to see his reactions.

"Were you gonna try and sneak on in without saying hi?" "No."

yes, of course i was, this is extremely embarrassing that i am such an awkward person...

He confidently told my parents about my MD obsession and contradicted himself about why he was at our table in the first place. "Well your server got a concussion so i was just checking on her tables...well why arent you checking on all of the tables then? Its okay, you can say you just wanted to show off how awesome you are to my parents rather than say hi to me or check on us. you dont have to fib ;)

oh and then you told me how C had said i may be coming in...why were you so surprised to see me then hmm? How come you NEVER say whats on your mind...i always do
After things didnt burn up in flames, i loosened up a little and even began to tease him about his uniform, catch up on school and find out how his life had been. He chatted at our table for quite some time, and i realized i had missed his presence, his laugh and that smile of his.

i told him about how my dad had put the sauce all over his steak without even trying it and he laughed.

Whenever i would begin to even say something he immediately looked at me, oh how i had missed someone actually paying attention to me. He's so good at that.

At the end my parents stood up and put their coats on but i hadnt gotten to say goodbye...but did i really want to? What good was it? Why did i care..

"Wait put your coats on slower!" i knew he was supposed to be gone by now but he couldnt have left..

he always said goodbye to me, well he used to

"caitlin we already have our coats on"

"well put them on again"

Finally i give up, ok, lets go.

As we are walking out, out of nowhere he basically cuts us off. My mom and dad shake his hand. I try to side step him because theres no way im gonna shake his hand...or do one of his favorites...a high five. it just wouldnt be right. However my attempt to sidestep him was unsuccessful and he gives me the biggest hug.

"bye k-dawg"

"i hate it when you call me that..."

he smiles.

what. the. heck.

You dont get to give me hugs. You dont mean them. Ok that was dumb, a hug means lots of things.You only did that because my parents were there and i couldnt be mean and publically reject you like that one time. It was almost like your payback...or was it because you thought i wanted a hug not because you wanted one? You need to stop thinking people want things they dont.Was it weird i came in? You didnt act like it was but it was weird but i bet you were thinking it, youre one of those types. You werent as innocently flirty as you normally are. Whyd you say goodbye? Its almost like you wanted to? You could have pretended you left, you techniqually should have been gone. Do you just try to charm everyone you meet regardless of who they are? Do you just like to be liked? Why do you do this every single time, this never happens to me.

sigh, overanalyzation will be the death of me...

xoxo Cait xoxo